2006.
What do I say now? Last year, I had a lot to thank for. Or shall I say, more obvious things… more visible things to be grateful of. This year’s a little different. I’ve become a little more anti-social but have come to know more about the ones closest to me.
This year, I’ve come to realize how wonderful my mom is… she always was that. People may perceive her as some mom who seems to be forever under the menopausal span… like how I saw her before. But there’s a lot of her than just that. When you’re under her care, not only will you learn how not to scratch the well-furnished tables and chairs, or how to fill a glass of water from a heavy glass pitcher without spilling a drop… you’ll learn how to be tougher…to keep things inside as much as you can and go go on. Yeah, she isn’t perfect. Who is? After all, were supposed to be seeing the best in people, not those that rot. These days she’s become the mom I wanted her to be. Haha, or shall I say, I allowed myself to see things in this way just now. Konting lapit lang pala… hehe…
This year, I’ve come to see how much my brother has grown. I used to pinch him in the arm when he was little. I used to hate it when he falls asleep in the jeepney on our way to school or when he chats inside the church, I always pinched him or gave him “the look” (like mama’s…hehehe). Now, he has become my team mate. We live in an apartment and though things aren’t that perfect, we manage to live in harmony. He handles most of the things pretty well. Really good at managing me and my selfish side.
This year, my significant other seemed to have been kinder and more patient. He’s become more giving and more of a smiley guy… and I love him for that… and more..
though he seemed to dislike me hugging him… or me asking him for some of those… but I’d respect that anyway…
This year, I’ve realized how much time I’ve been wasting. Or how I still couldn’t manage my time perfectly, and set my priorities—mmmm, I know my priorities, though they still come in disorder…Haay… I’ve improved a little but I’d be expecting more of me.
time flies fast… so fast that sometimes I cannot stop and reach out to people, give them a warm hug or a tight hand grip or pat on the back… here I go again blaming it all in my being in med school. I can do more.. I know… I need time…
i’ve become a little more indifferent to some people, and I admit I’m not really good at being affectionate… I’m cold. And selfish…
next year’s goin’ to be tougher. ‘cause I’ve got removal exams, and more remedial exams.. I’m a failure…. And I might get colder and more selfish… =’( i hate it.. I hate me… I hate myself.
Just…. at the end of this year, give me some hugs… just hugs… warm ones, then I’ll move on... I’ll try to get closer to you…
